I didn't really have plans of making my first blog post about fear. I honestly wish I could dismiss that it's not a topic worthy of that, but the fact is it seems to take the leading role in my life way too often. It holds me back, and I feel it affects us all more often than we realize. Lately it's been tenfold. The lies (I actually have to convince myself that it's lies) keep flooding my head and pushing me into doubt and even guilt.
It was only right that I cover the topic of fear today because it's actually been quite crippling in a success stand point for me. I have struggled so much with purpose-- especially when it comes to a career. I let doubt beat me down. So many negative thoughts are engrained in my mind 24/7 and they won't let up. It has been especially bad pertaining to starting this blog. Questions like "what if people don't like it? What if I run out of content? What if people perceive me as pretentious, not having the right frame of mind?" haunt me.
This way of thinking is what has kept me from finally just going for it and trying to live my dreams and create my purpose in that. I want so badly to create-- to not limit myself. I've been unhappy with any occupation I've had so far and kept thinking how badly I wish I could just create on a daily basis in the areas I love: home decor, beauty, fashion, cooking, etc. I love to write, always have. So a blog just seemed so fitting. But what ifs, yet again, and what people might think restricted me. Oh, and you can't forget comparison and expectations. Those two alone are enough to petrify anyone.
I made the decision to contact a small business educator, Emily Wells of Emily Wells Design, and see if I could really get a plan going and start this thing! Our meeting was great. She's so talented in what she does and really helped me see the potential that I would've otherwise looked past. I have to admit, I felt a bit silly and started getting this absolutely yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know that feeling like something is just wrong?? I had that-- and it would not go away. Like, it got a LOT worse. Everything was starting to feel all too official. Then that was followed by more LIES. Lies of the enemy.
But I'm lucky enough to have such an encouraging husband by my side and a mother that always seems to have the right words. They see so much in me that I don't, and without that guidance in my life I wouldn't be following my dreams and writing this right now. So shoutout >> THANK YOU FAMILY AND FRIENDS!! I LOVE YALL!!
All this to say, y'all, do NOT let fear hold you down, and don't get in your own way. Okay? You have so much potential. Yes, you!! You have purpose- one that no one else has. You were fearfully and wonderfully made, and YOU are enough. Let go of your doubt and just start living. Be positive and be patient. If you do this, everything else will fall into place all on its own.